We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
A+ Viking dick
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
