She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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