its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My feet surprised me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
