Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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