Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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