This is not my ceiling
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize