I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
