It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
