I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
