So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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