So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
