Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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