we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
