Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
