I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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