If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
