She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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