Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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