Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think I sprained my soul last night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
