is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My ass is underappreciated
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
