Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
