Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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