I skipped work to stalk him.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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