You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
