Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
