drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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