Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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