Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize