yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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