I looked at my own cervix.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
