Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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