Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
