Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
