I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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