If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
