She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
