Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize