Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Found your dick twin last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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