Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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