you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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