remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
