why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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