Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
