STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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