i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
