Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
