On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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