Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
