3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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