Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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