He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
