I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
