I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
