I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
