I wanna bring you to show and tell
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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