Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
