My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
