nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
