Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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