When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
