At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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