She said her name was "party"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
