i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
