I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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