She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
