Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
