I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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