My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
