he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
