My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
