Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize