Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Someone came in the potted fern
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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