you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
