Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize