it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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