You work out of a Hotel?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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